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McManus, Andrea Silva

College of Education and Social Services

2005

Ed. D.

This dissertation offers two narratives in one. The first concerns a journey to unconditional positive regard, despite early and consistent negative messages in school about ability, intelligence and motivation. I advance the idea of the importance of knowing and valuing every student's story to help each student be successful in the educational process. This is a simple idea too often lost in the current climate of accountability, high stakes testing and the many school improvement models meant to improve student learning and outcomes. The second goal is to inform potential writers and advisors of Scholarly Personal Narrative (SPN) theses, dissertations, and comprehensive papers about the process, politics, benefits and concerns associated with choosing this emerging research methodology. I attempt to teach future SPN writers and advisors about SPN from the "outside in" and the "inside out," including all the facets of the writing process. I advance the idea of false knowing, meaning we all have false beliefs about ourselves. Toward this purpose, I develop the idea that we all live by story. In true postmodern fashion I assert that we and we alone are in charge of the stories we assign to our lives. I use SPN writing to detail how I became aware of the need to have incredulity toward metanarratives and how I wrote and researched myself out of a limiting, debilitating narrative to one full of joy, anticipation and hope. With the acknowledgement that many students' stories go unknown and unvalued, I tell my story in the hopes of raising awareness for educators and those in the helping professions and schools systems everywhere to focus on knowing and valuing their students' stories. I detail the journey of the closeting and re-emergence of my intellect and my journey to becoming an educator who cares about and works toward education reform. Specifically, I share recommendations for personalizing the high school experience in ways that will help educators know and value their students' stories. Numerous implications and recommendations are made for educators and those in the helping professions regarding knowing and valuing every student's story.